Blessings (and Guilt)
Do you ever feel guilty for all of the blessings you have in your life? Some days I feel overwhelmed with gratitude for all of the blessings I have in my life, but other days it makes me feel guilty. I have a beautiful, healthy family, my parents are still here supporting me as I navigate through life, I have a great job and a wonderful home that’s warm and full of food. We are surrounded by family and friends, community events, the beautiful ocean and redwoods. I have freedom, safety, and security. And I have the ability to do whatever it is I set my mind to do. But, why should I have so much when others have so little? I know how important gratitude is (and I am so grateful) but the other side of me wonders why am I worthy of such blessings while other people are experiencing terrible, traumatic events in their communities: war, violence, death, starvation, etc. How do I go about life feeling so good when others feel so bad?
It always makes me question the idea of a higher power. How does God allow so much suffering for the people on earth? Is it that he/she/they can intervene and choose not to, or do they simply not exist? I recently asked some friends their thoughts on this exact topic - how do you reconcile all the suffering we see on Earth? Of course the answers varied — someone suggested karma, another expressed that our minds may not be able to comprehend the deeper meaning behind the physicality of this existence — that we may not understand the suffering but perhaps it has a purpose. I’ve even heard that we choose these lives, but to me, I cannot comprehend how people could possibly “choose” a life filled with strife.
Could it simply be luck of the draw? I have to admit, it does feel like I hit the lotto in many ways. I know that I live in one of the wealthiest countries in the world, with access to clean water, fresh food, healthcare, education, etc. But, maybe that’s not everything. It’s known that even some of the more impoverished communities in the world have happier people than wealthier ones. I guess it’s hard to compare, but I do try to remember on a daily basis just how lucky I am. I get to tuck my children into a clean bed every single night, in a warm home, with full bellies. There is nothing more important to me in life. How blessed I feel.
But the word blessed doesn’t sit right with me. Again, it makes me feel like there is a higher power who is doing the “blessing” and they are not choosing to “bless” others. Cue the guilt. I can’t seem to wrap my head around it. I spoke with my partner, Travis, about this the other day, and I asked him if he ever felt the same way - guilty. He responded that it only made him feel grateful, and he didn’t have “survivor’s guilt.” I thought that was an interesting way to phrase it. Because why should we feel bad about the hand we were dealt? If anything, all that does is disempower us. I read a quote before by Abraham Hicks that said, “You cannot get poor enough to help poor people thrive or sick enough to help sick people get well. You only ever uplift from your position of strength and clarity and alignment. When you focus on the good, the good gets better.” It reminded me that we can only help others from a place of empowerment, and feeling guilty is not going to help. I should re-focus that energy on sharing my abundance with others.
I need to celebrate my blessings, not feel guilty for them. And, at the end of the day, the question around spirituality and the “why” can never truly be answered. So, it’s on me to choose my own truth, and there is no denying the goodness in my life. I want to forget the guilt and focus on giving back and paying it forward. I want to focus on the love, joy, and happiness that are present for me and choose to never feel bad about the “blessings” I receive. Because truly, at the end of the day, anything can happen that could change that reality entirely for me. It can all be taken away in an instant, because tomorrow and the blessings are not promised. So, it’s important to appreciate it while we have it — food, security, health. I must remember to always make the most of this beautiful, precious life!
